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A Simple Guide to Being a Single Woman in Your 30s in Lagos

In Nigeria, if you’re a single woman and over 30, it’s a struggle. Even more so if you happen to live in Lagos. Couples everywhere you go, friends and family wondering why you’re still single and trying to set you up with eligible bachelors they know.

Sometimes you begin to think that being the second wife or side chick isn’t a bad idea. But we’re here to tell you that there’s hope. Being single lady in your 30s isn’t the end of the world and we’ll show you how. This also applies to ladies who are under 30, but feel the pressure from the society to get married. We gotchu boo.

1. First of all, be happy to be single.

Life’s too short. Don’t spend time wallowing in self-pity. You might not be thrilled to be single, but be determined to be happy.

2. Do what makes you happy.

Why should you worry about the opinion of others, when in the end only yours matter?

3. Enjoy your single state.

As much as much as you might be tired of being single to stupor, there are people in relationships or married couple that wish they were single.

Enjoy your singularity. Be comfortable with it. Pick up projects and immerse yourself in it, experience new things, work on your hobbies. You probably have things you plan to do when you’re in a relationship. (e.g travel); what stops you from doing it now? Work to get to a point where you’re happy to be single.

4. Go out more.

Are you a homebody? Do you prefer to stay out indoors, but want to make new friends, expand your network? Then that will be next to impossible. If you’re tired of being single and don’t want to be, you best get up, clean up and get out there. Unless you’d rather meet people online.

5. Have a healthy work-life balance.

If you dedicate your life and time to your work, and have no social life, you might regret it later. You can’t be jobless either. So learn how to separate business from pleasure. Work hard and play equally as hard.

6. Take any advice you get with a pinch of salt.

Get ready to be told what you can or can’t do as you get older. Also, be careful of who you ask for advice on your life issues. Not every advice is good advice.

7. Imagine a worst-case scenario.

As Nigerians, we can be overtly religious. But when you’ve been single long enough, it’s time to be realistic. Imagine if you never got married and what you’d do. If you can’t think of anything, start making plans. Until you’re happy with yourself, you can’t be happy even when you get to be in a relationship. You’d look to the other person to make you happy.

Excerpts and inspiration taken from How to be Single in Your 30s in Lagos by Lape Soetan.

About Ngere Ify Davies

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